Monthly Archive for May, 2009

Update: Life.

Let’s all play a guessing game. I’ll act like someone and then you guess the rest:

“I’m a girl who believes it’s okay to go around kissing another guy behind my boyfriends back on the account that I’m going through a rough time, but that relationship ended. I’m with a new guy though and exams are coming up, so that will be a rough time? Therefore, it’s okay to go around screwing other guys, yeh? n_n”

Chocolate bar to whoever guesses the right character. 

Okay, its finally time for me to do some sort of commitment and entry into my blog (because my last one was about two weeks ago). To be honest, I’ve been really hesitant to blog over the past few days because of the increased views I’ve had over the past two weeks in response to my ‘creative’ story. I’d just like to include some of the search queries that my new visitors/readers/lurkers/pedophiles/seedy old horny men use to stumble upon “the inner thoughts of a kongmunist n_n”:

  • Naked Asian Girls
  • Young Asians
  • Underage asian
  • Pole Dancing Girls
  • Initiation gone wild
  • Rainie Yang Lesbian
  • Horny Girls Making out Lesbian

Though this is not all of them, these were some of the more recent terms that I’ve found linked. The increase of views was shocking and I didn’t know that simple keyword stories aimed at one portion of the market would attract so many new readers. In fact, the popularity of this new style of genre has made me reconsider what ChristopherKong.com will be. I mean, why make a blog when you only get a certain amount of views when you can make a website that will attract more readers and thus earn you more money. Hence, I’m contemplating to turn ChristopherKong.com into some pornographic website when I can role in the dough from horny acne-populated men.

I’d also like to thank Rachel Lee  (not Tan n_n, and not the fat one >__>), who has kindly been advertising me in her Personal Message for the past few weeks:

 

 

the cheapest form of advertising: friends (IN A NON BEING USED WAY)

the cheapest form of advertising: friends (IN A NON BEING USED WAY)

 

 

 

Today was pretty much spent studying at the State Library. I have a shitload worth of Philosophy & Reason material to revise before the test on Wednesday and Friday. I am quite proud of the amount I managed to revise through (i.e. all the content we need for the term). Now all I need to do is put it into practice which I think will be a bitch. Philosophy is a subject where there is a lot of reading, followed by a lot of exercises which gives you the equivalent feeling of anal rape. Also, interview’d by Eric and his friend (zomg if I’m wrong correct me) for something about a TOK presentation their doing on obesity? They asked questions about “What do you think when the term obesity comes to mind?” and “Why do you think people are obese?”. Come to think of it, I think my replies were REALLY shallow. LOL. So I’m hoping that it’s not going to be prime footage used in a PowerPoint or something that is sent to Cardiff for moderation. XD

We also have a new student teacher in Chemistry. Don’t get me wrong, I think its great that students are getting experience in the “real world” (haha he’s from QUT) by teaching students in a fun mock classroom BUT I do have a problem when it’s grade 12′s he’s teaching. I mean, we’re in our final year and the last think that we SAI-conscious/OP students need is a teacher who is learning the ropes. If they want guinea pigs then they should go to the year 8′s where experimentation is okay. This week he was trying to  teach us about about equilibrium constants and their relationship to quotients he said “What happens when the quotient is more than the equilibrium?” to which I sheepishly raised my hand and said “This means the concentration is more then then equilibrium constant and the system will move from right to left, products to reactants, until the system re-establishes equilibrium”… “Sorry, you’re wrong” he said. Shocked, I tried not to blush in embarrassment and just listened to him explain what was correct “Reaction goes left to right” until someone confirmed what I said. He took a while to realize, and then was like “Okay, let me redraw the concept… Reactions go right to left..” ZOMG. NI SHI LOSER. T___T

This reminds me of Ms. Potter; WHO, might I add, did NOT perform any magic on us in order for us to grasp the QSA Senior Chemistry Syllabus (you can just tell when half the class practically fails). In fact, the only think I think I learnt from Ms. Harry Pothead was that her favorite band was “Plain White Stripes” (singers of ‘Hey There Delilah’ and any other song that makes girls cream) most probably due to the fact that she wasn’t getting any the use of ‘romantic lyrics’ – Pothead, 2008.

QCS practice makes me realize how bad this year is going to be for MacGregor. There was a ONE star question where we had to calculate BMI (formula weight in kilos divided by height in METERS NOOBS METERS) and we were given details of 78 kilograms with 180 centimeters. I’d like to quote some MacGregor students:

“OI KIEEENNTTT.. why am I getting 0.0024 for me BMI”, “that’s the right answer… yeee boiii!”

That and also the fact that although they were aware that there was two places for CEP that day (library for non OP, hall for OP students); a number of students didn’t realize they had to go to the library if they weren’t doing OP despite the fact that we were 30 minutes into an OP/QCS presentation. Yay Fail More Please. = =”

Also, I’ve updated the title of my blog to “the inner thoughts of a Kongmunist n_n”. Get it? KONGmunist. KONGmunism. Haha, I’m lame but I thought this was a pretty leet title. I can already imagine some of the propoganda posters: “Jiang B** L**g shi wo men xin zhong de hong tai yang. <3″. Also, a picture of Kevin Liu’s zui ai de political leader:

 

the KONGmunist in front of the communist XD

the KONGmunist in front of the communist XD

amitofu and increasing search rankings

Another long weekend has passed, and I have been ever more productive then evahhz. Not really.

First of all, Zhu Ni Sheng Ri Kuai Le for Rachel Tan: http://rachel-maykay.blogspot.com

Buddha fest was on the weekend and apart from helping out I was able to receive spiritual enlightenment. Well, actually, in my opinion Buddha Fest last year was better than Buddha Fest of this year. Primarily because SO many things were moved which upset the natural wheel of karma and rebirth (trying to work in buddhist terms here). Nevertheless, I learnt the importance of one work: amitofu.

Amitofu. It’s a flexible word that can literally be used any time, any where and for any situation. Every monk I walked past on Saturday and Sunday said “Amitofu” and I greeted them back with another “Amitofu”. This four syllable word is one that is universivally understandable, fills in pauses and as well as breaks the ice in awkward converstions. Here are some examples”

Person 1: “Hello Chris”
Chris: “Amitofu n__n”

Person 1: “Mom, Dad, I’m gay/a slut/the complete embodiment of a whore”
-parents jaw drops-
Person 1: “Amitofu”
-family then breaks out into some KFC happy time commercial-

Person 1: -farts in lift-
-Awkward silence-
Person 3: “Amitofu” n__n

See, it’s a really flexible word isn’t it?!?!

It’s funny though because you always have people going “Wow. Did you go to/are you going to Buddhafest on the weekend?”. It was like the million dollar question of the week. I bet you half the teens who went wern’t even buddhist but were looking for a way out of their hardass asian parents so they can meet their girlfriends/boyfriends and make out simultaneously while the fireworks spectaculor happened. Which, I don’t think was that spectacular. Come to think of it, that’s probably what the slut was doing. n__n

Lastly, in an attempt to increase search rankings of christopherkong.com on Google, I’m including a story that I made from Rachel’s (not Tan) display pictures taken from on Buddhafest (words that are bolded are the ones aimed at increasing rankings obviously). Before I start though, WHY IS “in class – what is feminism?” HIGHER RANKED ON TEH GOOGLE THEN MAI BLOGGY?. Anyway, story time:

Series of Misfortunate Events Asian Parents Worst Nightmare

Title changed to avoid copyright law suit by Warner Bros.

One day in the world of Buddhism and spiritual enlightenment. A young girl named Rachel decided to visit the festval celebrating the birth of ze Buddha. This was Rachel’s first time and she was quite unsure about venturing into the big bad world of religion (and subsequently her religionity (religious virginity)) and anywhere that was 1 kilometer from the epicenter of Sunnybank (Epicenter of Sunnybank = Market Square, place that NEVAH closes on any public holiday as I discovered today). However, with her young female friends she felt safe.

Rachel felt quite hungry and she with friend decided to venture into the world of Asian eateries.

faces are blurred for obvious bao hu-istic reasons

faces are blurred for obvious bao hu-istic reasons

She didn’t know what she was about to get herself in to however; as before the drunkness, the innocent Rachel sits with a friend at said asian eatery to consume edible foods. However, her friend was wearing red which symbolized passion, fire and devlish thoughts of getting Rachel drunk and committing a series of Asian Parent Nightmares. (HENCE SHE WAS WEARING RED PEOPLEZ). Soon later, Rachel falls under a drunken spell and unaware that she is all boozed up, now decides to move out with another friend who would begin the initiation.

she yearned to be set free, rash-free that is

she yearned to be set free, rash-free that is

As she ventured out into the world known as Southbank she found a conventiently situated hard pole. Rachels inner spirits had escaped and the academic student wanted to show what her true ambitions were. She grapsed the pole with one hand and then the other sliding up and down. This was the job she wanted. The inner pole dancer within her, the inner pole dancer that was yearning to be released, the inner pole dancer that was entraped within was now the one that she proudly showed off. She was admired by her crowd of two Xiao Hai Zi’s. These Xiao Hai Zi’s said “Ma Ma, when I grow up, I want to be just like her. YI YANGGGG~~~~~ LIKE RAINIE YANG“. Although, this could have also been an indication that she had a rash that she was trying to scratch against the pole. Either way, Rachel was now out of control and was a Asian girl gone wild.

The next day had now come and Rachel on a uncontrolled spree found a bench to share with her friend:

there was a price to pay for using the bench, but she didn't mind n_n

there was a price to pay for using the bench, but she didn't mind n_n

As she sat there with her friend, she realized something. She was a lesbian. Longing to find acceptance, she tells her feelings to a close friend. This friend understands so much that they now share in a long embrace with each other. The sun rises slowly from its slumber and all sadness that was cloaked over her in the previous night (and years when she was in the closet) were now gone. However, her parents soon walk past satisfied of their performance after the “Annual Fei Yu Chin square dancing competition” and were stunned to see what had become of their Nu Hai Zi. The oh so very strong radiance that their happiness had given them was now stolen by a cloud of melancholy. What were they going to do now? Their young daughter had become something they never expected. By not to worry, she was still underage and this was illegal. All was not lost… They needed to do something, but what?

Zomg, I’m going to add more keywords later and tags for Google.

BY THE WAY, this is all another lame joke. Rachel and I are friends, I do not hate anyone mentioned in this short story, it’s just something creative I thought of doing to increase blog views over MSN Saturday night. Obviously this will be taken down if the parties involved want it to be. Also, it was nice studying with Rachel today at SLQ despite how self-conscious she happens to be LOL. And I did NOT death stare anyone hu hu hu hu. D:

INCREASE IN 40 YEAR OLD DEMOGRAPHIC PEDO WITH NO CHILDREN WHO SIT AT THEIR COMPUTERS ALONE AT NIGHT HERE I COME. n__n

(also, I’m helping you here Police, you can thank me laterz) :D

In closing, Amitofu ^___^.

Protect Your Family

Achievement for today:

 

yay achievement

yay achievement

Part 2 of Task 2 for the maths assignment, ccooommppllleeeetttteeeee. I now feel like one of those shoddy doctors who googled “Online Ph.D Generator” and got their Med. Degree thanks to their ISP and the Hewlett-Packard Company.

 

I’ve just finished watching Law and Order as well as a bit of the show Life on Mars. I have to say, I quite like the whole Law and Order series probably because of the crime scene and it’s dramatic reenactments staged within it. You know, the scenes where the  baddies get caught and they always act so melodramatic that their conviction is wrong, or what they did was considered to be a ‘service’ to society. Yeh that.

I’ve been planning to blog all week, but there was the cbf-factor which was multiplied significantly during the week days. There were also a lot of assignments which made me want to go back to preschool. Back to a time where one only worried about how much play-do they received and how not to share it. I’ve been so swamped with assignments that it’s made me very miserable. However, we’re half way through though guys.

Good luck  to Larissa though who has her final IB exams starting next week – English A1 I think. Isn’t it good to know that the majority of  your mark rests on exams at the end of your two years work. Also, if you fluke these exams it’s like your whole future is doomed. No pressure though, it’s only the most important exam for any IB kid I guess.

I’ve started to expand my business horizons, and by that I mean, take advantage of the current market. Many of you readers may already know that we are already faced with the severe disease also known as Swine Flu. This disease is deadly and will cause patients to suffer horrible pain and insufferable deaths. Deaths that you wouldn’t even wish on the worst of sluts. Unless… (for another time)… However, the chance to protect your family is NOW here:

 

protection

protection

I’m selling face masks. These face masks are BETTER then the ones you get at the chemist because the come with mini respirators within. With this face mask you can now protect your family from the deadly swine flu causing pathogens and look like the hero of your local community. Anyway, ONE mask will set you back $1.95 and a pack of 10 masks will be $15.85. Good Value, I expect them to sell quick so buy NAO! Ahmm, yeh. Contact me if your interested in face masks. XD

Festival of Buddhism this weekend, YAY. Study, negate the YAY. =\

Zomg this blog post sucks. Nevarhhhh blogging at midnight eveh again. :(